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Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Story of Us - A Side Note

There's a bit of information that you might want to know before I continue much longer. I was in a relationship at the time. *shock* I had been going out with the guy for quite some time, over a year in fact. It wasn't the healthiest of relationships. Actually it was bad, very bad. I just didn't see it at the time because I was young, and I had no experience being in a relationship. I thought they were supposed to be that way, but boy was I wrong. Even though it wasn't a very healthy relationship, I was committed. I saw H as simply a new friend.

Now you might think I'm the worst person ever because we all know how this story will end. H and I will end up together, and there will be this one poor fellow who got screwed over. To this day I have been unable to forget and forgive the other guy. He hurt me in ways I never knew until I was out of the relationship. I try not to think about the past anymore because I can't change it. I don't think I would want to change it either. I am able to value and appreciate H in ways that I would be unable to without my past.

Everything happens for a reason. You don't have control over destiny. It just happens in a blink of an eye. I am very fortunate to have met my soul mate, especially at a young age. Sure, I wish I had met him earlier because I really don't know how I was able to live without him for all those years. I wish that it could have been less complicated, that no one had to get hurt. These are things that I have no control over now. I could have stayed with the other guy, continued to be unhappy, and just wish for a better future. I didn't do that. I chose myself. I was selfish because I ultimately wanted happiness and destiny to take its course. I'm glad I did because I have no regrets.

This was difficult for me to write because I wanted to make sure this part of the story was told. Maybe that's why I rarely go into details about how H and I met. I feel like a liar if I just mention all the pretty details, but that's all that people want to hear. This is the truth. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I want to be honest about my past.


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