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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Financial Wedding Stress

Planning a wedding can be stressful and overwhelming for any bride and groom. I'm certainly not immune to it, and I have a feeling that it will start to get worse. My biggest fear is not being able to financially afford the wedding. Back when I was engaged I was sure that we would be able to pull it together for a 2010 summer wedding. Now that I'm a year behind on savings, I don't think it will work out so smoothly, especially being in the process of purchasing our first home together. I don't want to depend on either of our parents to help out because that's so 20 years ago. In our modern times, most couples end up footing most or all of the bill. My parents have already stepped up and told me that they would not be helping us, but they didn't need to tell me that. I already knew. It's a Chinese thing for the groom to pay for the wedding since he is technically taking me away from my family. Most Chinese parents follow this tradition, even the ones who are wealthy and would like to contribute. Basically I have no idea how we can pull this off in a year.

I honestly do not want a big wedding. The most important thing is to be legally wed to Hubby and live the dream of happily ever after. I want our closest friends and family to witness our special day and enjoy it with a laid back meal together. I don't want a huge party with people who I don't know, and I especially don't want to be so busy that I can't even enjoy my own wedding. If I could, I would limit the guest list to 100 for the both of us. My side would probably only consist of 25-30 if I try to cut down (I currently have 50 including all of my family, parent's friends, and my own). Why can't it be that easy?

I know I will have a breaking point (I've had a few already), and I will make an appointment with the court house on a Wednesday afternoon and get it over with. Financially it makes the most sense, and we'll have to do that anyways if we don't have a ceremony on our wedding day. We'll get the benefits of married life without breaking the bank. I don't need the fairytale wedding. I just need to be with my Hubby, and that's all I need in life.


Is it strange that I have never envisioned a dream wedding for myself? Once I started dating Hubby, I knew what it would have to be (follow tradition, chinese banquet, etc.), and I was fine with that. Now I'm not okay with it, but there's no way to stand up and say no. I want to find the time and sit down to think about what I consider the dream wedding. What do I want?


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