Oh boy.. here it goes...

Since it's been eons since I last updated, I might as well refresh my own mind of what's been going on.

April 2009 - engaged
May 2008 - introduction to Weddingbee = daily eye candy
October 2009 - a wedding date is chosen (not by us, by the people who have almighty knowledge of lucky days)
November 2009 - parents finally meet
December 2009 - restaurant/reception is reserved
January 2010 - panic
February 2010 - cake & photography taken care of

I think that's pretty much where we left off. In all honesty, I've been bogged down by this wedding. I don't want it. There you go.. I said it! Yes, I want to marry H. I want to have a wedding to join us as husband and wife. I just want my vision of the big day, not our family's vision of it *cough*his family*cough*. That's what girls want after all, right? This is the day that little girls dream of when they're young and heavily influenced by Disney characters. I am no different. I might not want to be Cinderella on my wedding day, but I sure do want to feel like a princess. I don't need the big, expensive fancy dress. I don't need a million people in attendance. I just want it simple and a celebration of us, not everyone else.

Remember this Save the Date reminder? (not the actual STD)

I have Save the Dates that are ready to be sent with postage and all. Guess where they're at? It's in my desk drawer, and I won't let them come out. I figure that if I don't send it, then I can pretend that the wedding doesn't have to happen. That's wishful thinking on my part. We've had the Save the Dates for a month. They're supposed to be sent out 6 months in advance, and it's the less than 5 month mark. Along with Save the Dates collecting dust, I've stopped thinking about the wedding altogether for the past month. I refuse to think about it because I get stressed out beyond belief. It is horrible, and I will not face my problems. I want to push back all wedding related thoughts into a dark corner and never have to revisit them. It's my solution. Okay it's not a very good one.

So what's the first thing a normal person (emphasis on normal) do in my situation? Talk to the future Hubs, right? Well I've done that on numerous occasions. I even remember breaking down last summer because I just realized that this was not the wedding I wanted. The conversation/argument consisted of him telling me that this is his vision of the perfect wedding day, and I can't do anything about it (slight exaggeration). This is what his family wants. What about my family? My parents are the total opposite, and they only request that a few people be invited on top of the very small guest list for my side of the family. What about having a very Chinese/Vietnamese wedding? Oh they'll go along with it, but they have not pushed a single thing on us.

Let's pretend that I'm a normal person again. I have brought up the wedding topic numerous times since, and I just end up frustrated with tears. The answer is always the same. He'll try to accommodate, and I'm never satisfied. I have to hear about the next new thing his parents want to bring up, and I try to hide in my corner. It's a painstaking process, and I think I've given up.

Here's an example. His parents mentioned bridesmaids, and his mom wanted me to have my bridesmaids try on Vietnamese traditional dresses (Áo Dài). Her friend was going to Vietnam in a week, and I needed them to come to the house asap. Of course they also tell me that H's sister cannot be in my bridal party due to Chinese traditions. Umm.. hello, I'm the Chinese one. Can't I decide what traditions I want and do not want to include? I'll take the chances and have an unlucky marriage just so that H's sister can be my bridesmaid. Well it gets worse. I tell her that my best friend Brippy is in New York, and there's no way she can get fitted. Oh okay, then let's consider her out of contention. Yup, that's right. My best friend was nixed because of that. What about my little sister? Well she's 14 years old, and I don't really get along with her. So it makes no sense at all that his parents would suggest for her to be my Maid of Honor.

I participated in a Vietnamese wedding in Dec 2007. I wore a Áo Dài at the request of H's mom, and I was fine being a guest at a Vietnamese wedding. This wedding also had bridesmaids wearing their normal coordinated American dresses. Sigh.

Get this.. we're not even having a traditional American, walk down the aisle ceremony due to time constraint and no one is even recognizing the need for one (except me). So my question is why do I need bridesmaids at all? So I'm putting up a fight. They've asked again, and I have told H's parents that I don't need them. Their response? "Well then you'll have a Maid of Honor then?" Nope. Nada. I don't think they took that too well.

So this is just one example of the stress I have to deal with. In that example alone, I have introduced my lack of a bridal party and American ceremony. It sucks. This wedding sucks. I have lost all of my excitement because this isn't the wedding I ever dreamed of.

What is my dream? I just want a small intimate wedding with our closest family and friends. I want to get married in the court house in the morning and have a small get together at the house to celebrate at night. I want it in the backyard, and I want our guests to have a good time. I want to emphasize that this day is about the celebration of our union and love for one another. Traditions are sometimes meant to be broken. Weddings are unique. No two weddings should ever be alike because no two sets of couples are ever alike. We're all unique. Weddings can incorporate traditions and also start new ones.

Jess & Mike's Vintage City Hall Wedding
www.oncewed.com

Is that too much to ask for?

The Story of Us - A Side Note

There's a bit of information that you might want to know before I continue much longer. I was in a relationship at the time. *shock* I had been going out with the guy for quite some time, over a year in fact. It wasn't the healthiest of relationships. Actually it was bad, very bad. I just didn't see it at the time because I was young, and I had no experience being in a relationship. I thought they were supposed to be that way, but boy was I wrong. Even though it wasn't a very healthy relationship, I was committed. I saw H as simply a new friend.

Now you might think I'm the worst person ever because we all know how this story will end. H and I will end up together, and there will be this one poor fellow who got screwed over. To this day I have been unable to forget and forgive the other guy. He hurt me in ways I never knew until I was out of the relationship. I try not to think about the past anymore because I can't change it. I don't think I would want to change it either. I am able to value and appreciate H in ways that I would be unable to without my past.

Everything happens for a reason. You don't have control over destiny. It just happens in a blink of an eye. I am very fortunate to have met my soul mate, especially at a young age. Sure, I wish I had met him earlier because I really don't know how I was able to live without him for all those years. I wish that it could have been less complicated, that no one had to get hurt. These are things that I have no control over now. I could have stayed with the other guy, continued to be unhappy, and just wish for a better future. I didn't do that. I chose myself. I was selfish because I ultimately wanted happiness and destiny to take its course. I'm glad I did because I have no regrets.

This was difficult for me to write because I wanted to make sure this part of the story was told. Maybe that's why I rarely go into details about how H and I met. I feel like a liar if I just mention all the pretty details, but that's all that people want to hear. This is the truth. I'm not exactly proud of it, but I want to be honest about my past.

Gadgets & Projects

I'm happily snowed in today, and that means I'll be working on wedding projects all day. Yay! Let me show you around my workshop and some of the gadgets.

Fiskars Squeeze 1 inch circle punch, Martha Stewart's doily lace punch, and double happiness paper punch

I love this punch!! I saved up money and coupons and patiently waited to buy this from the store. I'm probably a little pathetic, but I love the beautiful edge.

I bought this pretty number in Hong Kong and was totally inspired by Mrs. Hot Cocoa. I actually ran into it twice, and I regretted not getting it the first time. My dad pretty much persuaded me to go ahead and buy it, especially since everything was 10% off in the store. I paid $5.50 US.

I found my wedding colors at Staples. Haha. Seriously, I did! I wanted a easy source for my paper, and Staples was the only place that even came close. I was conflicted at first, and I finally went ahead and bought one ream of 20lb paper in Salmon and one ream of 120 lb card stock in ivory.

Why salmon? I had a little bump in with salmon about five months ago at Michael's. I purchased about $20 worth of Martha Stewart card stock and matching salmon leaf print (on super duper sale). I had visions of a salmon wedding back then, and the salmon at Staples pretty much called out to me. The two on the left were purchased from the retired Martha Stewart line of papers, and the two on the right are from Staples.

All punching devices + wedding paper = awesome wedding projects to come! The middle double happiness circle will be turned into stickers with my awesome xyron.

Tissue paper flower against a salmon backdrop. This was my test run using white tissue paper purchased for cheap around Christmas time. I have vanilla tissue paper in queue for the final result.

Here's a sneak peak of something I'm working on...

Here's another peak. Imagine all of these pieces of papers turning into my wedding favors. It's going to be insane, but I like challenges.

Haha.. this is just a small glimpse inside my craft workshop. Tune in for more gadgets! =)

*All photos taken by H with the first group using his light box on the cheap (cardboard box, tracing paper, and white poster paper).

P.S. I switched my blog colors to reflect my salmon colored wedding! Muahahaha!

Online Shopping -- So Enticing!

After a long day of shoveling snow, it's time to relax and recover from all the aches. There are quite a few sales going on around the Internet, and it's hard not to stop and stare. Here's just a few...

Twigs & Honey by Myra Callan

Myra Callan is offering a 25% discount on all items in her online shop through this weekend only. It excludes her amazing Etsy and custom order pieces, but it is super amazing. Now if only I could afford her pieces even with the discount. Enter discount code at checkout: kisses

Wedding Invitations, Gifts, and Stationery by Hello Lucky

With the launch of Hello Lucky's newest line of vintage-inspired and wedding stationery printed on 100% recycled paper, they are celebrating by offering Weddingbee readers 20% off all products. To take advantage of the 20% off discount, simply enter the code BEEMINE2010 upon checkout. This offer is valid through 2/14/2010. I have my own set of Hello Lucky invitation samples, and they are really dreamy in person. Now only if I could spend my whole budget on invitations. Hmm...

Hello Lucky Save the Date Postcards

I am especially drawn to their new line of Save the Date postcards. I love how the announcement is off to the side and kept simple and sweet.

Since those are way out of my budget, I figured I would keep looking online for swoon worthy wedding related products. I stumbled across Modcloth through one of those Facebook ads. Now I've heard about Modcloth around the Internet (check out What I Wore), so it's nothing new to me. I just never clicked on the site before, and once I did, I was immediately drawn. Of course I found a great dress, and I bought one for myself. How could I not? I deserve a little present for all of that hard work from yesterday. =)

Wildlife Photographer Dress

Wouldn't you know it... I just wrote this whole entry and figured out that I should probably cancel my order. Why? I just read the reviews, and it doesn't look pretty. Sigh. I'm in the process of figuring out how to cancel it before it gets processed. Oh man. I was so excited about it too. I originally had visions of this dress for an engagement shoot, bridal shower, or rehearsal dinner. It is super cute in the back, and I am drawn to dress pockets. Oh well. This will be a lesson for me not to order immediately out of excitement without reading the reviews.

On a happier note, I did buy something else wedding related. Details will come as soon as shipping has confirmed. The company that I purchased it from has been known to cancel orders. =/ I'm crossing my fingers on this one because it will be perfect for the wedding. I really hope it ships out and arrives this week.

Preview - Ring Shots

As a result of finding tracing paper on sale at Staples, Hubby decided to make a cheap light box. He was experimenting with shots, and I adore the ring shots above. I should probably find a way to incorporate Hello Kitty into the wedding. Muahaha. ;-)

Speaking of rings, the recycle trash can almost ate mine up on Thursday evening. Our recycle trash can is actually bigger than a normal trash can because I'm awesome and requested the biggest one they have. Well my ring slides around on my finger a lot in the winter since my hands are so cold. It's the total opposite in the summer when my fingers swell up from the heat. Well as I was throwing in some plastics and paper, I heard the thump of my ring fall in. That has never ever happened to my ring before, and I freaked out. H came to the rescue and found it immediately. Phew. Just imagine if I didn't hear the thump and let the trash man take my recyclables with my ring in there. I do have insurance on my ring, but it has so much sentimental value. It's not replaceable, and you will soon know why as soon as I tell you guys the story behind my ring. =)

Going in the Right Direction

I'll admit it. I freaked out like no other this past weekend.

rawr!

I can honestly say that I have improved quite a bit since then, and I have accomplished a few small things on my very big to do list. Since I'm a big fan of lists, I will present to you a list of my small accomplishments:

• contacted a few (as in 2) photographers and am in the process of making a pro and con list for each
• ideas for finding an affordable DJ & wedding cake using networking connections of sorts
• save the date sketch is made and the project is ready to go
• finalized on the wedding colors (after going back and forth on a daily basis and incorporating new color schemes every other day)
• bought a super duper printer for all of my wedding printing needs
  
• browsed through craft stores for the perfect shades of paper goods (which I later found at Staples of all places)

I'm still a very stressed out Yin, but I'm going to make it through one baby step at a time.

The Story of Us - Part I

Call me crazy, but I never did introduce you guys to the story behind From Poke to I Do. Sure, I made some lame entry to make the blog go forward, but there are details to be shared. =)

How did H (that will be his new name) and I meet? The simple answer would be in school. The not so simple answer goes a little like this...

I just completed my freshman year of college, and I took on the challenge of taking summer session. As a new sophomore with less than a year under my belt, I took the one class that required my sophomore status -- accounting. I almost dropped the class because I wanted to take a tiny break from classes and exams to enjoy my summer break. Who wants to take accounting when they can be lazily enjoying the summer sun? Exactly. Why didn't I? I was simply too lazy.

meet Yin

H would have just completed his senior year of college and graduated in May, but he didn't. Life happens. He needed to take two more courses to be an official graduate, and there he was inside Student Services trying to pick his two courses. Economics would be an easy one since he needed it for his degree. Then there was the elective, a class of his choosing. Upon his uncle's advice, he chose accounting of all things. Apparently it's supposed to help you in the adult life (really?).

meet H

There we were on the first day of class inside Memorial Hall. I was assigned to my table, along with everyone else in the classroom, except for H. Since he joined last minute, the professor had to randomly assign him to a group on the spot. He sat across from me. There were a total of 4 people in our group, myself included. One would later never return (later as in the next day), and then there would be three. We exchanged our contact information on a sheet of notebook paper, and went on with our day.

meet accounting

Did I notice H? Yes, he was Asian, but that was simply it. Did H notice me? Yes, he sure did. His friends can tell you the story of his instant attraction to me. It's quite funny. =)

So folks, that's how we met -- at the University taking a boring Accounting class. How will our relationship take a change from strangers to friends? You'll just have to wait and see.

meet us - one month later